Unleashing Unstoppable Self Confidence
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Mr. Biz Radio: Unleashing Unstoppable Self Confidence
Unedited transcription of the show is included below:
0:00:05
Welcome to Mr. Biz radio, Biz. Talk for Biz owners. If you're ready to stop faking the funk and take your business onward and upward, this show is for you. And now here's Mr. Biz, Ken Wentworth.
0:00:19
All right. Welcome to another episode of Mr. Biz Radio with Me, Mr. Biz Ken Wentworth. And it a couple of exciting things I got to sort of announce as well as we're going to talk about this week. So first of all, we're going to talk about power habits to create self confidence, to create more self confidence, which is holding a lot of people back. And our guest just wrote a book literally called the Power Habits of Unstoppable Self confidence. So what better person to talk about this?
0:00:51
In addition, the announcement per se is that our guest this week, Dr. Noah St. John, who let me read a little quick little bio here, even though you'll see why I almost didn't after I'm done with this. So Dr. Noah St. John is known as the father of Afformations and the mental health coach to the Stars. He's the author of 24 books. Every time he's on it makes me feel worse and worse about my measly three, including his new book, the Power of Habits of Unstoppable Self Confidence.
0:01:24
You can find that at getconfidencebook.com. We'll put that in the show notes as well. Working with Hollywood celebrities, eight figure company CEOs and professional athletes, Noah is famous for helping people make more in just twelve weeks than they made in the past twelve months while living, winning their lives back. So, Dr. Noah St. John, welcome back to the show. And the announcement that I wanted to make was that after the other day we did a show and producer Alan and I were talking off air and we went back and looked through the archives. Right. So we've been doing the show for seven years now, and you are officially the most frequent guest that we've had on the show.
0:02:02
You've nudged in the first place. Now, as we look back, I think this is your fifth probably listeners, viewers, we're probably going to reference all the past things or whatever. Go back. It's been over the last couple of years that Dr. St. John's been on the show the leather four times. But typically, as most people who watch or listen to the show know, we start know. Tell me about your entrepreneurial journey, things like that. I feel like we've been through that the first couple of times. I think we kind of went through the whole thing. Next few times, maybe not as much.
0:02:32
We're not going to go through any of that stuff. We got a lot of stuff to cover today if you want to hear more about that. First of all, you can go out to his website. Second of all, go back and find some of those older shows. You can search on his name, Dr. Noah St. John, and find the other four shows he's on. And after you watch or listen to this one, you're probably going to want to go back and check out some of those, because I feel like a lot of these books build on. I haven't read all 24 of his books, but I think I've read the last four and even just the last four sort of build on one upon the other. So without further ado, welcome, Dr.
0:03:05
St. John, after that long, long intro. But I wanted to talk really congrats on the 24th book. First of all, absolutely amazing how many people have written 24 books, right? And second of all, what inspired you to not only write a 24th book, but specifically to write this 24th book about the power habits of unstoppable self confidence?
0:03:25
Well, I started many, many years ago, and again, we won't go into that. Make sure you listen to those earlier episodes for the folks listening and watching. So many years ago, I discovered something called Success anorexia. And that is something that no one had ever talked about before. I am the person that discovered that in 1997. So 26 years ago now. And I realized that there were millions of people who were unknowingly and unconsciously starving themselves of success. In other words, they were holding themselves back from the success they're perfectly capable of now prior to my work.
0:03:56
And because I knew this, because I'd read every book on self help out there, because I was stopping myself from success. And as I believe I've mentioned on the earlier episodes, like, for example, I grew up poor in a rich neighborhood. I decided to commit suicide at age 25, and at the very last moment, my life was spared. But I didn't know why. I didn't know what I was doing here on this planet. I said, I've got to find what is my purpose here on the Earth.
0:04:19
Then in 1997, I had these epiphanies that really changed my life and led me to realize, well, this is what I'm here for. This is my purpose. And that's what I've been privileged to do for the last, more than a quarter century now. And helping our clients literally add over $3 billion in new revenues, adding six and seven and eight figures using my methods so many years ago, I discovered this when I discovered success anorexia, meaning the condition that actually causes these other behaviors. Now, people have been talking about these behaviors for a long time, behaviors like self sabotage and holding yourself back and you're getting in your own way and things like that. Everybody was talking about that. I mean, lots of people were talking about it.
0:04:58
But do you know what the treatment was prior to my work? If you are sabotaging yourself, do you know what the treatment was? If you're sabotaging yourself, don't do that. Oh, thanks a lot. Wow, I feel so much better. Why didn't you tell me it was that one idiotic. It was literally that stupid. And so I said, dude, I'm holding myself back. And your advice is, don't do that? It's like saying to a person who wants to lose weight, well, listen, if you want to lose weight, go ahead and do it.
0:05:28
Thanks. That's how dumb it was. So anyways, when I discovered success anorexia, which is the condition that underlies these behaviors, then I said, well, gosh, now I know what the problem is. Well, I've got to find a solution, right? Because it's one thing to know what your problem is. It's like going to the dentist and you say, hey, Doc, my teeth hurts or my tooth hurts. I got a sore tooth. And he looks at you and goes, oh, yeah, you got a cavity. Okay, next.
0:05:53
Wait a minute.
0:05:55
I want you to fix it.
0:05:56
I didn't come here. I know I was in pain. Come on, fix it. Anyway, so that's why many years ago, I created something called the Power Habit System. This was one of my earlier books called Power Habits. So this new book, which is called the Power Habits of Unstoppable Self Confidence, you can see these are like part of a series. I like to write books in series, like a franchise. Anyway, so that's why these two books really go together.
0:06:18
And that's why the new book, the Power Habits of Unstoppable Self Confidence.
0:06:23
Interesting. So, and guys, you got to understand, again, we didn't belabor a lot of the past or Doc St. John, not only some of the things he had mentioned, but at one point in his life, he was working hard to become a professional dancer. And then he was in LA trying to become an actor. And then that's leading up to all this. So talk about someone who's been there, done that. I mean, I can't imagine how competitive both of those professions are.
0:06:55
And it's funny. So I have to admit. So I've crammed this most recent book, listening to the audio, I had some window time driving and I crammed it and I laughed my head off like three or four times in the first couple of chapters of some of the examples you gave specifically about becoming a professional dancer and about, oh, my gosh, my landlord actually expected me to pay the rent.
0:07:16
I know, what a bum. He was so sweet because, of course, that was a joke because I didn't have any money and he let me be late on the rent a lot. So he was a sweetheart. I loved him. But, yeah, that was, again, giving examples of coming from someone with no self esteem and no self confidence. And as I share in the book, in high school I had a face full of acne, coke bottle glasses, and I didn't have shoulder length there. I had shoulder width hair. I had a big afro out to here.
0:07:45
So I had zero self confidence. And so that's why the book about the power habits of unstoppable self confidence, it really came from someone who came from Zero and has been able to build up self confidence and has been doing it now for a long time.
0:08:01
Yeah. So you can find out more again. We'll put this in the show notes as well. But you can go to getconfidencebook.com Go check that out. We're running out of time here in the segment. So I got a whole bunch of things I want to ask you, but none of them I don't think are really too short. Okay. Yeah. Let's hold off until the next segment because I don't want to cut you short. I want to make sure we can get through some of these because I want to talk in the next segment specifically about a lot of things. But one of the things some of the listeners and viewers might be thinking like, oh, jeez, another self confidence book.
0:08:35
And I can tell you from reading four of his books so far, his books are not like the others. First of all. Second of all, we're going to ask him specifically at the beginning to the next segment, how is this one different than other books? Right, guys? I know I've read a bunch of them. So we're going to ask, and that's how we're going to kick off the next segment is how is this one different than other self confidence books? So come back after the break on Mr. Biz radio.
0:09:02
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0:09:43
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0:10:11
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0:10:22
All right, welcome back to the show. And I lied. We're not going to start the segment with that. I forgot. We always have to do the Mr. Biz Tip the week. This week's tip. Mr. Biz Tip. Know, it's an obvious one. And I talk about it all the time. People hear me talking about it that watch the show or listen to the show. If you're a business owner, you got to focus on getting your cash flow right. I know it sounds really obvious, just like we were talking about in the first segment. Hey, you got a cavity. Well, okay, that's why your mouth hurts.
0:10:47
But literally, and I've quoted this a million times, but I think it's really important. That's why I say it all the time, 82%. You hear about all these business failures and the percentage of businesses, startups that fail within X number of years and a bunch of stats on that. But literally 82% of business failures are due to cash flow challenges. And so the way I like to look at it, if you get that part right, and I kind of jokingly say it, but it's really true, if you get that part right, you don't have to worry about the 18%.
0:11:14
So you're four fifths of the way there. If you get the cash flow right. So get your cash flow right. And if you need to help with that, I might know a guy who can help you with that. So that is Mr. Biz tip of the week. So, Dr. St. John, let's talk about this. So how is this book different again? Someone's thinking out there like, oh, Jeez, I've read ten of these books before. I got a couple of tidbits here and there.
0:11:36
How is this one different? How is this one going to be different for folks that maybe have read others in the past?
0:11:41
And I've read all those books, too, Ken, and so it is true. And I came from that background that I told you about, having Zero self confidence, zero self esteem. And one of the things that I noticed about a lot of those books, other books on self confidence, is one of the things that they say all the time is fake it till you make it. We've all heard that a million times. Fake it till you make it. If you don't have confidence, just fake it till you make it.
0:12:03
And my question is, how would you feel about if you were going into brain surgery and the doctor was just faking it until he hopefully felt better about himself or if you're hiring a business coach? And he said, well, we'll just figure it out. I'm sure it'll be great. Just give me lots of money and I'll be great. So I hate fake it till you make it. I've always hated it. I always thought it was the stupidest, dumbest advice ever.
0:12:25
And why is that? Because confidence, one of the things that I realized in studying for this book and preparing for it, doing lots of research, which I've been doing really, my whole life, my whole life is really preparing to write this book. So some of my readers have said that in many ways, this is my most personal book. And you mentioned that you've read several of my other books. And I think it is one of my most personal books because I did share more stories about myself growing up and so forth. And also a lot of examples of celebrities. I mean, like world famous people that we all know, like Tom Hanks and Elvis Presley and Donnie Osmond and people like that, and who grew up really shy and quiet and reserved and introverted, like me and who, of course, now are world famous. So I really strove in this book to make it very practical, very actionable, very action oriented, and to really give the reader specific steps that anybody can do, no matter if you already have high self confidence or like me, maybe you were struggling with self confidence in the past.
0:13:25
Well, I'll tell you honestly, that's one of the things. And I'm not just saying this because you're on the show or whatever, but I did find, again, I haven't read all 24. Mr. 24 Time book writer author. But of the ones I've read recently, this one I did feel like was at least more personal than the prior three that I had read. And the, one of the things that I liked a lot about it and you already touched on it, but was I always like to hear, I feel like a lot of times when you read books that are, whether it's a self confidence or whatever book, it almost feels like you're being lectured to.
0:13:59
Right.
0:13:59
And I don't get that sense. And again, I listened to your book, so I didn't actually read the pages, but I didn't feel that way, number one. Number two, the other thing I really like about it is the anecdotes, the stories that go along with it that make it entertaining and also applicable. And then the other thing I found myself is hearing some of these stories of these world famous people now. And I'm like, holy crap, I didn't know Harrison Ford went through.
0:14:25
You know, who would have known, right? No one knows that. Everyone just knows, you know, Indiana Jones and all the other amazing characters he's played. So I think it was relatable as well to say, holy crap, even Harrison Ford's gone through, you know, all these different famous people. So I love that part of weaving that in. Now you talk about power habits.
0:14:44
Yeah.
0:14:45
What are power habits?
0:14:47
So what I realized many years ago when I discovered success, anorexia. And again, for the folks listening and watching the program, if you've never heard of that, it means you've never studied my books or taken my courses or my coaching. So, yeah, if you never studied me, you've never heard of that before. Basically, success, anorexia is the condition I discovered that causes these other behaviors. And the problem is that everybody else is trying to change behavior on the level of behavior.
0:15:12
And what I realized many years ago is you can't change behavior at the level of behavior. You have to go underneath the behavior to what's causing the behavior. To give you an example as a keynote speaker, I'm a keynote speaker. I get to do keynote presentations for companies, teams, organizations all around the world, live virtually and so forth. One of the things I like to do as an example to show how silly it is to try to change behavior at the level of behavior, I'll say to my audience members, so let's say there's 1000 people in the audience, whether live or virtually.
0:15:41
And I'll say, okay, now everybody, I want you to stand up. And everybody stands up. And if it's virtual, I just say, okay, everybody, we're going to play a game here. I say, okay, now everybody stand up. And I want everybody to like each other, and then they sort of pause for them, and then everybody starts laughing because it's like, well, what? I don't even know these people, right? How am I supposed to like them?
0:16:03
And see, that's what happens. That's an example, a silly example of trying to change behavior at the level of behavior. Now, once you get to know someone like you and know I'm your number one guest on the show, and we love each other, we kid around, we have fun. But imagine the first time we talk, hey, Ken. And you're like, who the heck is this guy?
0:16:21
Right?
0:16:21
You know what I mean? So the point is that that's one of the things that makes my power habit system different. What I realized is that highly successful people are doing these unconscious habits that they're not even aware of, and that that is, in fact, what's causing them to be so successful. So the power habit system that I developed many years ago is the primary reason that I've helped my clients, whether one on one or group coaching or whether it's consulting or whatever it might be, is helping them add that $3 billion collectively that I talked about a moment ago, literally adding multiple six figures, seven figures, even eight figures. And the primary reason is because I teach them these unconscious power habits that really what's so funny is these highly successful people don't even know they're doing it. And therefore, number two, they can't teach it to you. So that's why it took the nerdiest nerd in the industry, that would be me, to actually systematize and then be able to teach and coach on these power habits.
0:17:19
Well, and that's the other thing that I love about the approach that you take, is taking it sort of to the medical route that you had mentioned is I get so frustrated. Let's say you pull a hamstring and you go to the doctor, and the doctor says, oh, well, here's some anti inflammatories and let it heal up. You're treating the symptom in your terms. You're treating the behavior, trying to change the behavior, instead of saying, hey, why is this the third time you've pulled your hamstring in the last year?
0:17:46
Let's strengthen whatever we need. Let's go back down like you're talking about on the different terms, getting back to the basics and treating the symptoms to create the behavior. We want to create the result and not have pulled hamstring, in this case, building those habits to create the self confidence. You can't just, again, like you said, hey, be more confident. Okay. Well, what changed from yesterday today is making you more confident.
0:18:12
It's so difficult to sort of pin it out of one. So we're running out of time here again, but real quick. So all the studying you've done, all these books you've written, everything, what is one resource? I'm only going to let you have one. One resource that was just one of those things that either was like an epiphany for you or just something that you even refer back to now.
0:18:34
Well, my inspiration for getting this business was the seven habits of highly effective people by Stephen Covey. And I actually got the chance to interview him many years ago, and he was just perfect. He was exactly what you would want Stephen Covey to was. He was, you know, that's what I so admired about, you know, what some people say, which is a real big honor for me, is my work starts where Stephen Covey's left off.
0:18:57
And because he was talking about conscious habits, and I teach about the unconscious habits that really cause. Yep, yep. Love it.
0:19:04
All right, guys, we're going to hit a break. Getconfidencebook.com. Come back after the breaK. We'll continue talking with Dr. Noah St. John.
0:19:12
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0:19:42
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0:20:13
Check out all three of Mr. Business best-selling books at mrbizbooks.com. Now, once again, here's Mr. Biz.
0:20:22
All right, welcome back to the show. And we got to change that when we have Dr. St. John on the show. When I'm talking. Oh, all three of Mr. Business. Best selling books of three. Yawn. This guy's got 24 anyway, I would say it inspires me to write more books, but as we've discussed before, it won't because I absolutely do not enjoy writing. I might have one more book in maybe one more. Although I said that after this couple back, so who knows? They keep building, I guess.
0:20:55
Nothing like you, of course. Let's take that a step further. We talked about how it's different. Who would benefit. Who would benefit from reading this book?
0:21:08
There are three types of people that would benefit from reading the book. My new book. It's called “The Power Habits of Unstoppable Self Confidence”. So first of all, if you are feeling like you really need more confidence, right. And you're tired of the old fake it till you make it advice, which is totally non advice and doesn't work at all. The second is for the person who, you might want to buy this as a gift for someone, because I've noticed that there are certain gifts that are, when it comes to books, I mean, that are well received and some that are not so well received. Kind of like, boy, you're really screwing up. You should read this book.
0:21:45
What? That doesn't go over so well sometimes. So this would be a great gift book for a parent or a kid or a grandkid or a niece or a nephew or somebody who's maybe graduating high school, graduating college, going off into the world and seeing what's next. And then the third type of person, it's for someone who's in transition, right. And the pandemic, of course, over these last several years now has caused a lot of people to have to pivot whether you're in business or if you were in a job until maybe you were downsized or right sized or whatever it might be.
0:22:19
So when you're going into, let's say, a job interview, right, you want to have that confidence and you don't want to fake it. And let's say you're starting a new business. You don't want to fake it. You want to have that real confidence. And like we were talking about earlier, my book and all of my teachings really address the causal level. It's not about the symptoms or the behaviors. When you look at the causal level, this is, in fact, why so many people really have low self esteem. And I just want to touch on this for a second, because one of the stories that I talked about in the book was Elvis Presley.
0:22:52
And it turns out that. And again, a lot of people don't know this. And I was actually fascinated to learn this in my research that Elvis was actually, he was very quiet, very know, and he was teased in school. The, the boys, they called him too girly, too feminine And. And he just really was very quiet and very shy. And in fact, he tried out for this band when he was like a teenager. And they know, forget it, son.
0:23:19
You have no talent for just. And this is all true story. I mean, this all happened. And, of course, went on to become Elvis Presley, the biggest star on the planet during his time. And so the point is, if somebody like Elvis can have that kind of low self esteem or be very shy and quiet. I mean, quiet and shy is what I meant to, you know, what about the rest of us? And that's what I was getting at, is that a lot of times, the most talented people are actually the ones who have the least confidence.
0:23:47
Meanwhile, the ones who have no talent at all are the ones who have tons of confidence. And it's like, good God. So I'm just trying to kind of level the playing field here for the folks out there who are talented, who are smart, who are creative and have so much to give, but maybe are lacking that self confidence. This book is definitely for you. Yeah.
0:24:06
And I would actually add on to that. Another thing that's really common, especially in the entrepreneurial world, is people have impostor syndrome. Right? Think they're not good enough. I can't charge. No one will pay that for me, for my advice or whatever. And I run across a lot of people like that, even people who start businesses, and it goes real well. And then the normal cyclicality of a business, that things start to taper off and fall, and then they lose confidence, the confidence that they had when they started the business. And now, three, four years in, if they hit some challenges and bumps in the road, they start to lose that confidence. And then I feel like it starts to spiral. It builds on itself in a negative way instead of the way you're talking about building in a positive way.
0:24:48
I think that's another section of the population that would really benefit from things. And here's the thing I was going to mention. It's funny you said it. You touched on it is the people, oftentimes that I find, not all the time, but at least a small percentage of the time that have the most confidence are the biggest lunkheads in the world. And you're like, how does this guy or girl get being so confident? I know, because you dig into a little bit and you're like, they don't know what the hell they're talking.
0:25:19
They're good with the blah, blah, blah, blah. Exactly. And it's like, good know. And meanwhile, the quiet, shy person there in the corner is the smartest person in the room many times. So you really got to be careful. And by the way, that story or that example makes me think of one of my coaching clients named Catherine. Now, I have a program called a twelve Week Breakthrough, which as you mentioned earlier, I'm known for helping people make more money in just twelve weeks than they did in the previous twelve months while actually winning their lives back. And a big, big part of it is these power habits that I teach.
0:25:49
And so Catherine is an entrepreneur from Pennsylvania and she signed up for my twelve week breakthrough coaching program. And she told me that, similar to what you're talking about, she'd been going through some tough times in her business and she tried lots of other things, spent all this money, again, it was not going so well and she kept hitting that income ceiling. Well, she sent me an email in week five of the twelve week program. It's a twelve week group coaching program. Sent me an email in week five and she said, noah, I just wanted you to know that I just raised $185,000 in one day in private money because of what you taught me. And she said, because you believed in me. Now I believe in me for the first time in years and wow, 185K in one day. Not a bad day.
0:26:36
Yeah, well, especially, I mean, imagine the slingshot impact that would have in a positive way of someone who has a waning self confidence and all of a sudden hits a grand Slam home run like that. And all of a sudden you're like, man, Stella's got a groove back. Let's go.
0:26:50
Bingo. Exactly. And you're right. It is a momentum changer. And you're absolutely right. And see, the problem is a lot of times that momentum is going in the downward spiral and we've got to make sure that we get it up again. So you get your groove back.
0:27:05
Yeah, for sure. So we only got a couple of minutes left here. But one of the other things I want to touch on, what's one of the most surprising things that someone, A reader of the book is going to learn and they're going to be like, what? That's a real head scratcher.
0:27:19
Well, yeah, I hope there's a lot of surprises in there. Like we were talking about all the different stories of the celebrities and people like that that we all are familiar with, and you go, wow, I didn't realize that they were quiet, they were shy, they were introverted and so on. So I think that could be a big surprise for a lot of people. Another thing that is surprised is one of the things I touch on and actually spend quite a bit of time on is the fear of public speaking.
0:27:42
Because as I'm sure we all know, the fear of public speaking is the number one fear of adults, certainly in the United States, but pretty much all around the world. And in fact, most surveys say that the fear of death is number six. Right. So in other words, people would rather die five times than speak in public.
0:27:59
Right.
0:28:00
Anyway, so I talk about that, and I talk about where the fear of public speaking comes from and what it really is. Because, again, that's a behavior. Right. I always like to go underneath the behavior to the cause, and then I give you my applause method. That's why I love to come up with these cool acronyms. So it's the applause method to actually get over the fear of public speaking and lots of stories like that. So if you're one of the millions of Americans or people around the world who have the fear of public speaking, that could definitely really turn it around for you.
0:28:28
Yeah.
0:28:29
And I think that's another one of those things, like overcoming something like that, whether it's the fear of public speaking or whatever it might be, that's something that you have to face regularly in your day to day life or in your career. If you get over that hill or you take the Hill, I guess I should say, I think that just does nothing but build on, because I know myself when I face challenging things in life, I look back on some of the things that I've overcome in the past and think, man, if I could do that, this thing that's in front of me right now, come on. This is a piece of cake. Like, I did this. I know I have this in me. So this is a piece of cake. So building that sort of mental resume of overcoming some of those challenges, I think is big.
0:29:12
Well, we're out of time here. Again, check out his book, “The Power Habits of Unstoppable Self Confidence”. You can find it at getconfidencebook.com. That's getconfidencebook.com again. We'll put it in the show notes as well. Dr. Noah St. John, thank you so much for coming on the show. Pleasure, as always.
0:29:27
Always a pleasure anytime.
0:29:29
Yeah, appreciate it.
0:29:30
Appreciate it, guys.
0:29:30
Thanks for watching. Thanks for listening. Have a great rest of your week. And, and as always, don't forget, cash flow is king
0:29:37
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