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Mr. Biz Radio: Using the Calm Code to Relieve Stress & Anxiety

Unedited transcription of the show is included below:

(00:04):

Welcome to Mr. Biz radio, Biz. Talk for Biz owners. If you're ready to stop faking the funk and take your business onward and upward, this show is for you. And now here's Mr. Biz, Ken Wentworth.

(00:19):

All right, welcome to another episode of Mr. Biz with me, Mr. Biz Ken Wentworth. And hopefully we've gotten through about a month now into the new year. Hopefully your goals are going well and all that. And hopefully what we're gonna talk about today, not hopefully what we're gonna talk, well, we, we are going to talk about is that you've gotten over some of the stress and anxiety that comes along with the holidays, right? The holidays are a great time at the end of the year. Hopefully get to see some friends, family, spend some time with them and maybe get some time off, things like that. But along with that comes a lot of things that induce stress and anxiety, and that's what we're gonna talk about today. So we're gonna, we have, we hit, oh my, you guys are gonna love this. You guys are gonna love this. So, my guest today is none of than Dr. Annie White. She's the author of "The Calm Code". She's developed a new science backed way to tackle stress and anxiety, just exactly what we need, right? She's here today to give us brand new tips for stress that you can start using right away. Dr. White, welcome to Mr. Biz Radio.

(01:20):

Well, thank you, Ken. I'm happy to be here. Thanks for having me.

(01:24):

Yeah, absolutely. And it's, I, I we were able to actually move Dr. White on his schedule a little bit. We had her out a little ways, and had some schedule changes and this and that. And I thought, man, we were literally looking at the schedule. My team came to me and they're like, Hey, we have some openings. Who can we move up? And I'm like right here. Let's go right here. Let's go to Dr. White. And thankfully, we were able to make our schedules coordinate and everything to, to get you on, because again, like I said, it, it's, you know, these, the seasonality. And not only, not only this, the holidays and some of the stress that that brings, but, but also, you know, depending on where you're at and where you live and your climate and maybe the lack of sunshine or the cold, or not getting out and, and getting enough Vitamin D and sunshine and things like that also have obviously an impact on our moods and things like that. So I think the timing of this is absolutely perfect. Before we get into all that though, Dr. White, if you would give us a little bit about your entrepreneur background, how you got to where you're at right now?

(02:22):

I have always liked working for myself, and it's probably because I hate people telling me what to do. So throughout my careers, I've had different ones of them. I have always been my own boss. And my last entrepreneurial journey was I opened a holistic medical practice. I am a doctor of traditional Chinese medicine, and so I saw people for they wanted to see me for pain and mental issues and everything that had to do, and was tied up with stress. And anyone who has been an entrepreneur knows that starting out is not easy, is it? It's I am gonna be honest with you, I cried probably every day for six months. I had signed a five year commercial lease, and I was like, oh my gosh, what did I do? I can't get out of this and I don't know what I'm doing.

(03:15):

And I didn't have a mentor or something like that. And after that period of time, I really saw things change. You know, I put in the work that it took, and I grew my business to be one of the most successful Chinese medical practices in the country, a single practitioner. So it, you know, over a decade that's what happened. And then I had to move away. And when I had to move away, I hired someone to take over for me that I am not completely sure wanted to take over and work for me. I think they wanted to take over and maybe take my patience. Ah, so I went through a very stressful year, and when you go through highly stressful times, your brain really can't be as reasonable anymore. You don't have the same cognitive abilities. Like I couldn't, I went straight to worst case scenarios. Mm-Hmm. <Affirmative>. So I handled the whole thing not very well, and the business ended up failing. Well, I had to close it, it didn't fail. It actually succeeded at first, and then I had to close it. And I do think that high stress played a huge role in that, which is why I'm glad you had me on, because if we can help people manage the stress in their lives and in their businesses, it's gonna help alleviate so many issues.

(04:41):

Yeah, I agree a hundred percent. Like I, you know, not only in my own business, but also with all my clients and things like that, I see this each and every day. Because even when, you know, as you said, even when you're running successful business, they're, they're always stressors, right? There's always, you know, you're worried about a competitor, you're worried about a, a whole myriad of different things. I had one business that was doing like, just so well is unbelievable. And their, their commercial building, they got, they got bought they, they leased part of the building. It got bought by new landlord, essentially. They came in and they wanted the triple, the triple the rate of the, of the thing. They didn't realize their contract had, you know, that, that a new landlord could do that. And so it was like, oh my gosh, we gotta find a place and we gotta right away.

(05:30):

And they're like a brick and mortar business, so they have people coming in. So they had to find a location close, you know, and the only reason I bring all that up is even when things are successful, you just never know what curve balls are gonna come your way. And obviously you had, you had several curve balls, and I know we're gonna talk about some of those in the next segment as well. But so what led you, what, what led you to, to jump from sort of the, the, the Chinese medicine into more of the stress and anxiety things? I'm sure they're interrelated for sure, but to, to really shift focus of your, of your practice, so to

(05:59):

Speak. That's right. It's, and it's a great question. And the reason they are so related is because I was seeing all of these patients come in and all e every single ailment had a root not necessarily caused, but a root stress was making it worse. And I knew if we didn't figure out how to lower their stress levels, they'd never be truly happy or healthy. So my training, my medical training teaches us to find out the root cause of things. We don't really wanna solve symptoms, we wanna solve the root cause. So when I investigated the root cause of stress, it brought me to the science of the brain. And once I figured out how stress actually works in our brain, I also did a deep dive into neuroplasticity, which states that every thought, action and emotion trains your mind along those pathways. So if you're having more stressful thoughts, you are actually training your mind to be more stressed out.

(07:01):

And negativity goes hand in hand with that. And we can talk about that in the next segment. But once I figured out how that worked, I then did a deep dive in how do we fix this? What are scientifically proven ways to train our mind to be calm and happy? When I found all of those scientifically proven ways, I put them into tools that people can use every day, they're very powerful because I use more than three at a time in each tool. And I put it into a six week program that people can use to really help themselves calm down, eliminate stress, not eliminate, we'll, never truly eliminate it. Okay? But Right, right. Minimize stress, minimize anxiety, help depression. And it worked wonders for me. And once I saw how well it worked, I had to get it into the hands of everybody who needed it.

(07:56):

Yeah, I love it. And one of the things that I absolutely love that you said that that frustrates me, and this is maybe semi uncontroversial to to say this, but I think it sounds like you would agree, is that I find so much that western medicine is just, they treat the symptoms, they don't tru treat the problem. It's, and so you never get to your point, they put you on antidepressants, but you never figure out what's causing the depression to start. And so you always haven't. So then you're always gonna be dependent in this case on antidepressants, for example. And then maybe you have to increase your dosage over, you know, and you're on 'em for 15, 20, I don't know, I'm not doctor of course. But it's just frustrating to say, you know, what's causing it. And I, the silly example, and I know we gotta hit a break here, but the silly example I was using when I talked to you about this is if I tear my ACL on my knee, do I just take ibuprofen for the rest of my life and anti-inflammatories, or do I go get my knee fixed?

(08:49):

You fixed the knee so you don't have to take the ibuprofen, right? So we're gonna, I, I'm sure you have a lot to say on that. We're gonna hit a break here. We'll come back, back and continue talking with Dr. Annie White.

(09:00):

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(09:39):

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(10:09):

Got a question for Mr. Biz. You want answered on air, email it to This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.. Now once again, here's Mr. Biz.

(10:20):

All right, welcome back to the show. And as we always do at the top of the second segment is the time. I almost forgot for the Mr. Biz tip of the week, this week's tip as I'm scrambling, cuz I forgot this week's I've had it here, but I forgot, I almost forgot to to mention it. This week's tip is, some people won't like this one, you can't fire bad employees fast enough. They erode morale and kill overall performance. Now think about this. You've got superstar performers and you've got some slackers who ends up picking up the slack for the slackers. The superstars. Who's that end up frustrating the superstars who ends up leaving you the superstars because they don't feel appreciated and they, you're not doing anything about these slackers and, and people that are really causing them additional work, et cetera, et cetera.

(11:07):

And I'm not talking about being mean to people or, you know, treating people poorly, they don't mean that at all. And you gotta give people the right tools to make them successful. But if you have someone who has a bad attitude, doesn't show up on time, has a crappy work ethic, you know, you, you gotta you gotta take swift action. Give them an opportunity to make the, make the changes and, but make it quick because the longer you let that problem exist, the more opt after you're gonna lose some of your superstars and losing superstars. Think about it. You lose a a 10 player on a scale one to 10 because they got frustrated and you're left with a bunch of fives, your business is gonna suffer mightily. So that is the Mr. Biz tip of the week. Again, we're talking this week when

(11:46):

Dr. Annie White,you can find out more at doctoranniewhite.com. You can follow around on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn. Uand so I probably,I probably wasn't fair the way I ended that segment, Dr. White, I gotta tell you cuz I probably got you fired up and I'll tell you if, if you didn't notice during a break, I had to roll my sleeves up. Cause I'm, I'm getting heated. I'm getting fired up here. Not in a bad way. Not in a bad way, in a good way. Uso, you know, like I said, one of the things I like is, you know, people treating the root cause the problem and not just treating the symptoms because then you never fix the problem. And,you know, that's one of the things that frustrates me so much so often, and I should mention also,our oldest daughter,graduated with a degree in neuroscience thinking that she wanted to go into research and things like that.

(12:30):

And she wanted to get her MD and her PhD. And she's since changed and literally we just had a conversation last night. She wants to get her MD and move more in along those lines because she is very, very passionate about this, this, this type of thing as well. So, oh, I know we're gonna talk about some other things, but I wanted to give you a chance because you were probably chomping at the bit, a little bit at the end. You're like, oh, you're going to a break. I wanted to tell you something about that. So I dunno what your thoughts are on that, but if you wanted to, to mention anything.

(12:57):

Well, I think you made a really good point before we, we left for the break, and if you rupture your a c l, you need surgery, you need western medicine, nothing else is gonna fix that. It's not gonna grow back together by itself. The pain is not gonna stop until you fix it. So what I think is really important for people to remember is we need both medicines. You know something like natural medicine, holistic medicine, traditional Chinese medicine, we are really good at getting people healthy and keeping them healthy. But if you have an accident or you have a heart attack or you have a stroke, or you need a surgery, you need western medicine. And I think that the big objection that most people have to western medicine is the pharmaceutical aspect. But if you think about pharmaceuticals, it's the most brilliant business plan that anyone ever came up with ever. I mean, they say take this pill ticket for the rest of your life and it will probably cause you to need more pills. Right. It's brilliant. I mean, it really is. It's not gonna keep anybody healthy <laugh>. But it's, it's a business plan and it worked.

(14:08):

Yeah. I mean, think about it. I mean, big pharma is just massive and then they've got their hands in the political world so deeply and, and oh my gosh, we can do 10 shows about that. Just

(14:20):

I know, and, and you never wanna come out against big pharma. Like, and, and I also do have to say, and sorry to interrupt you, but no, I would never tell someone to just ditch their meds or to not take a med if they truly, truly need it, because they can Sure. Also be lifesaving. It's just I want people to have the cognizance around. There are other options and maybe there's the potential to get off that med at some point.

(14:46):

Right? Yeah. And you know, again, I don't want to go too far down this rabbit hole, but Right. You know, the example I, I always think of, I was at a conference, a business conference, and they had someone who's coming came up to talk about health and mental health, et cetera, and he laid out a stat, and I wanna say, and you would know this way better than me, so I I'm probably incorrect, but it was some, somewhere around 70% of people that are 18 and above in the United States are on an antidepressant. And because, and he said, look, go to your doctor. Go, go see your primary care physician and tell them you're feeling down and bummed out and, and you feel like you're depressed and they'll whip out a pad in 10 seconds and write you prescription for an antidepressant. Now, again, I'm not saying that people don't need those at times, right? But, so let's get you out of that hole and let's figure out what's, what caused you to get into that hole?

(15:37):

Well, A and B, that's why I wanted this book out there so badly right now because anxiety and depression are at all time highs for our society. And I wanted to give another solution. I wanted to give a way to actually help that didn't involve pharmaceuticals. Not that people shouldn't make their own choices. I think that they should. But if they try, you know, the six week process in my book, and they're feeling a lot better, maybe down the line, they could work with their doctor to get slowly off those meds.

(16:11):

Right? Yeah, I agree a hundred percent. And again, the, the book she's referring to is "The Calm Code" by Dr. Annie White. You had mentioned this is super powerful. You had mentioned in I know my show notes here that the tools that you developed saved your marriage and maybe even saved your life. Tell us about that.

(16:29):

Sorry, I just heard so it was, you know, I always thought, oh, I, I know stress. I am helping everybody with stress. I don't have high stress. And we, I went through a really stressful two years and it culminated with my husband walking out the door and me sobbing on the living room floor, finally realizing that I needed the tools that I developed for my patients. And quite frankly, Ken, I needed them worse than 95% of the people that I ever met. My brain had gotten to a point, you know, earlier I said, we can train our mind to be more stressed and negative. And all of my stressed and negative thoughts had my mind and wired my mind. And that's a, a neuroplasticity thing, but to be so stressed and negative, I couldn't interpret things any other way. And my husband would say things to me and I would bite his head off, you know, or I would be really, really anxious.

(17:28):

And I was also fairly depressed at the time. So I put the tools to work and after about two weeks, I didn't feel a whole lot different, but they felt good. So I kept going with it, and after six weeks I felt a lot better. And after three months I was better than back to my old self. I, I had never felt that good before. So once I saw that and I saw how awful it was to be in that spot, that was just not fun and not my best self. I wanted to get this to everyone who needed it, you know? And I thought in book form is the best way because it's not expensive. People can do it at their own pace. Yeah. They can keep it for a long time reference,

(18:13):

You know? Yeah. I, so, you know, it's, it's, I I try to tell people this all the time and I catch myself in it as well is, and I, I'm using the wrong terminology, I'm sure. But you know, I, I think of it as, you get this paradigm in your head, right? I wake up and I'm having a crappy day and it, it starts off crappy and then all of a sudden that just snowballs. How often does that happen to people? Like I would guess all the time. Because once you get in that, I'm calling it a paradigm of this day sucks. This day's gonna terrible. I call it built. I was tying my shoes and my shoe lights broke. Oh my gosh. Doesn't always happen. Oh, there's a train. I'm trying to get somewhere fast and there's a train. Oh, here we go. You know, and it just snowballs on top of each other. We gotta hit a break here. But again, go out to dr annie white doctoranniewhite.com, check out the book "The Calm Code", follow her on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn. She's gonna give us some tips when we come back on how to deal with stress and anxiety.

(19:07):

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(20:08):

Check out all three of Mr. Business best-selling books at mrbizbooks.com. Now, once again, here's Mr. Biz.

(20:18):

All Right! Welcome back to the show. And I wanna, I don't wanna take up too much time with my b blabbering, but I did wanna mention something, Dr. White, you know that what I mentioned at the end of last segment, and I keep doing that to you, I apologize, like, throw something out there that you're probably like, ah, I wanna say, but you know, I I, my, you asked my kids and my wife I'm sure that I absolutely drive them nuts with this, but that whole thing that I had mentioned about, you know, you get into this paradigm of, man, why is this always happen to me and why is this guy driving so slow and I'm in a hurry? It's always happens when I'm in a hurry, is I try to re level set. But sometimes it's not what people need. And I level set by saying, you know, my daughters would get up and they were younger and they're like, oh my gosh, this didn't happen or this didn't happen, or this shirt I wanted to wear is, is not clean.

(21:02):

You know what I'm, and I would look at them and say, if that's the worst thing that happens to you today, you're gonna have a really good day. And, and it helps bring a little context to the situation, right? Cause if you really start to think about the grand scheme of things, you're getting upset about something that's more than likely inconsequential. But in the heat of the moment, a lot of times I get a lot of eye rolls. Okay? A lot of eye rolls and size as you can imagine, <laugh>. So but yeah, I, I think it's just so easy to, you know, get into that, you know, that paradigm, that mindset of, you know, not only the day, but you know, this week and this month, and oh my gosh, look at the LA last year. You know, people were at the end of the year and they start thinking about their year and they say, I didn't accomplish crap. I had 12 goals and I only accomplished three of 'em, or something like that. And say, you know, it just starts to snowball. I feel like,

(21:47):

Well, it does snowball because every single one of those thoughts trains your mind to be more stressed and negative so that when you encounter a situation, you're not going the positive route, you're going the negative route. And that's most people today. It's, that is not uncommon at all. And it's because the pathways of stress and negativity are actually more dominant in the mind than the calm and happy ones, right? So when any stressful situation comes up, you're down that path, I call it to stress Bill <laugh>, you're down that path to stress bill before you know what hits you. Once you, and I've experienced this firsthand, once you train your mind to be more common, happy, you experience things differently, you don't go straight down that path to stress, bill, you have options to actually stay in calm town. I call it calm town, but it is interesting and it's scientifically proven what you're saying. And people can get into those situations, those ruts are that paradigm that you're talking about because of how it works in your brain.

(22:55):

Yeah. So, so all that said, what are some things, some actual things, without giving away too much of the secret sauce, of course, <laugh> but, but what are some things that people can do, you know, right now, today, this week, to to, to keep them off the path of, to stressful and keep them in calm town

(23:13):

<Laugh>? 100%. Let's start with my favorite breathing exercise. I know everyone's heard a million breathing exercises. This is a bit different. So it has three steps, it actually has more than that, but we're gonna keep it simple. Three steps. First step, I want you to put your left hand on your chest, and I want you to breathe in and out. And I want you to repeat to yourself throughout this whole breathing exercise, I am safe. I'm not in a life-threatening situation. I am safe. Or you could say, I am safe. I'm not in a life or, or death situation. Whatever resonates with you. And repeat that to yourself throughout this whole exercise. Step two, take

(23:52):

That how long you do that for, how, how long you do that for.

(23:54):

Well we're gonna do that for at least two minutes, but I want you to do it until you really feel calm again, okay? Okay. Step two, take that hand and put it on your lower belly. As you breathe in, I want you to feel that hand go out toward the opposite wall. And that tells you that you're breathing down deeply. Okay? It's called diaphragmatic breathing, but when you breathe this way, you really strongly tell your body, I don't need to run, I don't need to fight. And that's what that whole stress response was meant for. Step three, I want you to take your right index finger and cover your right nostril. Breathe in and out only through your left nostril. Throughout this exercise, studies have shown that activates your calm or parasympathetic nervous system and it calms you down faster. And I name this, pick your nose the right way because it's kind of a cute little thing to help you remember how to do it. We're not really picking our nose, but it looks a little bit like it Yeah. And the right way, because it's the right side. So you can use this in traffic jams. You could excuse yourself from a meeting and just go to the bathroom and do it for a minute. You can take a walk, but it really does help calm you down faster.

(25:10):

Yeah. I mean, my own neophyte thing would, my suggestion would be, if you're gonna do the nose p piece over the third piece, make sure that people can see the right side of you so that, because if you look from this side, it definitely looks like I'm picking my nose. Make sure <laugh>, make sure you can see the finger on the outside of the

(25:27):

Nose. <Laugh>. Yeah. You don't have to do it in the grocery store. Yeah, yeah. But in the car, like, do we really care if that person over there sees us or it would be over there, sees us? No, because we'll never see them again and who cares.

(25:38):

Right? Right. And maybe you give them a laugh. Maybe, maybe you make their day less stressful. They go, oh my gosh, look at Cat. That's right. And this guy picking his

(25:44):

Nose, I'm picking my nose for stress. What do you want?

(25:47):

<Laugh>? I love that. So I've, I've used a couple different breathing things and they, for me at least, I know everyone's different, but they work tremendously for me and, and quickly to center me so, so quickly. And it's sometimes it's difficult in the heat of the moment, so to speak, to really take the time and step back and do some of those things. I think the things that you described would be even more powerful and probably work even faster, because there's more, there's more, again, I'm not, I'm using non-doctor terms here, but there are more touchpoints, I think mentally for you to, to realize that again, as you mentioned the first step, but you're not in a life life-threatening situation. Like, you know, if you

(26:31):

Were, you wouldn't do this exercise, I wouldn't recommend it. You know, if a bear is chasing you, don't sit there and do the pick your nose the right way for stress. Right. <laugh>.

(26:39):

Right, right. But it's, you know, it's a, it's a much more practical way and tactical way I think to, to tackle those things rather than having, I don't know, for example, your dad telling you, if that's the worst thing that happened to you today, you're not gonna have that bad of a day <laugh> like <laugh>.

(26:56):

And that, I love that perspective. I've actually adopted that perspective for myself that you were giving to your daughters. But I can give another tool that maybe we could use because sometimes when we say things like that to people, they think we're disregarding their feelings, right? Right. It's a woman, blah, blah. I know, and I'm not trying to disparage women. I, I am one. But let's, let's try a different tool. So okay, for this tool. So let's say they're worried about something, your daughters, and I'm gonna use myself as an example, and this is the magical phrase that can turn everything around. So basically, I'm worried about this interview today with you, Ken. You have a huge audience. I wanna do a really good job and I am worried. And what I could do is go down that stress path and just be like, oh my God, what if I screw up? What if I say the wrong things? What if, right? But we're not gonna do that. What I do now instead is I do my triple thanks tool and I do thank you, thank you, thank you that I rocked this interview. Thank you, thank you, thank you that I rocked this interview. So you use Thank you, thank you, thank you. And then you turn what you're worried about around so that it turns out great instead of horrible. Does that make sense?

(28:11):

That makes perfect sense. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. And I think, you know, there's an element of gratefulness to it, right? With the thank you. And I think that's important as well. You know, I know again, everyone has their own druthers and, and what works for them and, and, and et cetera. But you know, for me, at first when I heard that about, you know, showing gratefulness and things like that, I'm like, that sounds pretty cheesy, blah, blah, blah. And then I tried it, you know, and, and one of the things that's powerful for me along those lines is I, someone, I can't remember who said it or what book I read that was talking about this, they said, when you're frustrated with someone, stop, take a step back and think of three things that you're grateful for about that person. And man, if you can do that again, sometimes it's difficult in the heat of the battle in the heat of the moment, so to speak. But if you can do that, oh my gosh, it's so amazing.

(28:57):

But why, why is it amazing? And I can tell you why it's amazing after the break, because of how this works in the brain, it actually changes the pathways that you're on in the brain. That's why it feels so much better. And I can talk about that in a second.

(29:13):

Well, you know, I'm gonna have to have you back on, cuz it, this is it, we're done. This is the last, this is, oh,

(29:18):

We're finished. Oh, we're done. So, so instead of being on the stress and negative pass, you're on the common happy pass. And not only does it feel better in the moment, but you're building them every time.

(29:28):

I love it. I

(29:29):

Love it. Double whammy.

(29:30):

I, I love it. I'm gonna have to have you back on doctoranniewhite.com. Go follow her guys. Thanks for watching. Thanks for listening. Have a great week. And don't forget Cash Flows King

(29:40):

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